Trigger warning for rape/sexual assault.
Let me get out my bingo card.
In a trial being covered extensively by the local media, a 28-year-old man has been charged with raping a woman he met at popular nightclub Zouk. Necessarily there is much victim-blaming. Good girls don’t go out dancing, you know. They sit at home of nights, meekly sewing comforters in pictures of utter domesticity, which is a failsafe activity in preventing rape.
When he returned, he found that she was crying, saying she was scared and wanted to go home. He was shocked and calmed her down, after which they tried to have sex but failed. […] Subsequently, he returned to the room and found her on the bed. She was not crying any more and he said they had sex with her consent.
Ong said before he entered the room, he had thought of checking if she was all right. But when he entered the room, he found her ‘sitting there like a normal person”. He said he did not think of asking after her any more.
Consent is not implied. Consent must be given. Consent cannot be taken for granted. A lack of consent makes sexual activity rape. Rape culture is the denial of this fact. I am exhausted. I am tired of saying this. But I will keep on saying this because when people ignore this, it is rape.
‘He did not think of asking after her any more.’
Ong ‘disagreed with the DPP who said his conduct showed that he almost treated her like a “sex slave”.’ Seriously? Seriously someone describes themself as ignoring someone else’s personhood and then denies that’s anywhere close to the dehumanisation, the depersonalisation, involved in treating a person as property?
In today’s coverage, victim-blaming ensues. Footage is played in court of Ong’s victim dancing with him in the nightclub, and the Straits Times reporter writes,
The woman put her arms around Ong Mingwee’s shoulders in the clip shown by the defence.
Note how the journalist doesn’t even need to elaborate on what is meant by that sentence. The reader is invited, expected to respond by considering that a sign of intimacy, and therefore a sign of consent.
Or, if not consent, then she was leading him on! *shockfuckinggasp*
He claimed she was dancing sexily, as if she was seducing him. […] He said the woman pulled him to the dance floor and that she danced ‘very sexily’ and in a seductive manner.
Protip: Howsoever a person dances, it does not mean you can perform sexual acts on them without their consent. And dancing is not consent. Howsoever a person dances, they are dancing, not consenting to sex. Need this be said? Yeah, this needs to be said. Sad, innit.
The hearing continues. So does the media spectacle, I presume.